If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize