Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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