Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
