Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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