Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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