i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
