Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we made out on top of his cat.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
