Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
