i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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