Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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