i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize