I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
