i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
