so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
