Don't you send me to vm
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
