I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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