I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
