You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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