shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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