Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
