Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
