Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
