i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
