you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You've changed since you got that strap on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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