so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
