You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This baby is an asshole
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
