it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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