I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
