The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
