somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
