what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize