Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
