...so i touched it.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
