Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
