Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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