You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
