so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
