thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
