I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
