and you said cock pushups were impossible
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
