So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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