Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize