she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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