maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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