I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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