we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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