i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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