He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
