i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
