Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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