the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
