wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
