i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
